I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
