What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
