The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
