He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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