What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
