I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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