i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
