Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize