my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
