you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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