I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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