I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need to calm my uterus...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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