Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
