Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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