How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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