my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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