Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
no you cant smoke seaweed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
