pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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