Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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