I feel like abortions should bother me more
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
