I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize