Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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