How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There r osticjed everywhere
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
