watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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