Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
