why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize