i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
