come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
