Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize