my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
