She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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