I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
