thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
worst night to have a conscience
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize