You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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