ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
