And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
