What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize