Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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