Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
