Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My bed smells like the plague
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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