1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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