end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just tell him i said nine months
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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