I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
"it" just moved
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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