no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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