It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
