just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
