my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
