Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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