And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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