I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
