I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
