I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
