Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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