Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
