Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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