Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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