Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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