you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
