he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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