I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
