he thought i was a dude.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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